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DSC_0799It’s dark and I’m lonely and I’m feeling desperate to hear my son’s voice. Searching for answers, I turn to Google with the query: the voice of my dead son. A page of results appears with links to mothers who have “channeled” their children in the afterlife.

I suddenly realized: I was looking for poetry to comfort me, as words always have. Down at the bottom of the page were a set of words reflecting my lived experience. Look, feel the depths of my grief in a search engine hit list:

screenshot 2019-01-29 12.47.16

I know I must live with this pain, but I can’t fathom how I will manage it. The thought of another year without Roger is so hard to bear. I can imagine other mothers, like myself, lonely and searching for answers to the question, “why.” But Google has no answers for the questions that really matter.

One thought on “Grief Journey 2019

  1. Beautiful. You’re right. There are some questions that are just unanswerable in the here and now.

    Losing a child brings on unmerciful pain. I’m hoping for absolute love and peace with my son in the next life.

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