DSC_0799It’s dark and I’m lonely and I’m feeling desperate to hear my son’s voice. Searching for answers, I turn to Google with the query: the voice of my dead son. A page of results appears with links to mothers who have “channeled” their children in the afterlife.

I suddenly realized: I was looking for poetry to comfort me, as words always have. Down at the bottom of the page were a set of words reflecting my lived experience. Look, feel the depths of my grief in a search engine hit list:

screenshot 2019-01-29 12.47.16

I know I must live with this pain, but I can’t fathom how I will manage it. The thought of another year without Roger is so hard to bear. I can imagine other mothers, like myself, lonely and searching for answers to the question, “why.” But Google has no answers for the questions that really matter.

2 thoughts on “Grief Journey 2019

  1. Beautiful. You’re right. There are some questions that are just unanswerable in the here and now.

    Losing a child brings on unmerciful pain. I’m hoping for absolute love and peace with my son in the next life.

  2. I stumbled upon this page (while researching media literacy) and want you to know you’re not alone. Thank you for sharing about Roger. May his memory be a blessing.

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